


#WritingScreamo

by szervetlen



Category: Dance Gavin Dance (Band)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Domestic Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, all they do is get into bed i'm so sorry, self indulgent silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23883151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/szervetlen/pseuds/szervetlen
Summary: Writing an album is a tough process. The vocalists unwind in their own way after a hard day.
Relationships: Jon Mess/Tilian Pearson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Jon stretched back in his chair, running his hand through his messy hair and rubbing his eyes. He glanced over at Tilian beside him, who looked similarly exhausted. They were so close to being finished with all their individual writing sessions now, but similarly it felt as if the album would never actually be finished. Far from being drained creatively, Jon felt like he’d never had so many ideas. It was frustrating for him, having so many intermingled thoughts and feelings beneath the surface that were begging to come out, and trying to channel some of them into today’s songwriting session had been grueling. As a band, their creative process was kind of off-kilter compared with a lot of their friends, and although it worked for them, Jon found it hard sometimes to share his frustrations and feelings on the whole thing. He knew Tilian felt the same, but it was hard to get the other man to open up to him about it. When Tilian became stressed, he had an annoying habit of covering his feelings with dumb jokes and flippant comments, to the point where Jon felt like he could slap him.

Not that he ever would, of course.

“I think I’m done, man,” Jon groaned, “I’m starving. You wanna order something in?”

Tilian smiled gratefully at this. “Yeah man, let’s get some pizzas. I think I got a six-pack in the fridge still. Gourmet night in?” 

Jon gave Tilian a lopsided smile, swinging his legs over the side of the chair to face the other man. “Man, real healthy living, huh?”

Tilian shrugged. “What can I say? I’m tired, I’m drained, I give into temptation.” He raised his eyebrow at Jon, who felt his cheeks flush a little, and he had to mentally pull himself into check. 

Although Jon and Tilian hadn’t hung out in person much over the winter, they’d been in pretty much constant contact via text and Facetime, and Jon couldn’t help thinking that Tilian’s tone with him had shifted a little, even from the end of the Artificial Selection tour last year. He seemed a little more open with Jon, and at times, late at night, maybe after a few drinks...even a little...no. Jon stopped himself again, ignoring the funny feeling in the pit of his stomach. He’s not flirting with you, he told himself, you’re just desperate and lonely and painfully single.

It wasn’t like Jon hadn’t had his opportunities. He’d seen what people said about him when his notifications became flooded every time he posted something, no matter how small and stupid. But seeing people call him hot and sexy and saying all those other lewd comments about him just made him feel awkward and ashamed. These people didn’t know him, not really. Even after all this time, he couldn’t shake the idea that anyone who he let in would only be disappointed by him. I mean, that was what happened last time…

“Jon?” 

With a little jump, Jon realised his eyes had closed and he’d leaned right back in his chair. He was more tired than he thought, fuck. 

“Sorry, Til...fuck…”

Tilian’s face softened as he gave Jon a gentle smile, his eyes creasing up at the corners. 

“Hey, you’re really tired...do you want to lie down for a bit? I’ll go order us some food, okay?” He gently rubbed Jon’s shoulder, and the smaller man smiled up gratefully. He stood up, stretching, his t-shirt lifting to reveal a stripe of his pale, soft stomach. He could almost feel Tilian’s eyes sliding to it, but Tilian quickly snapped them back up when he saw Jon looking at him, and he briefly smiled at him as he turned and headed out of the room.

He crossed the room to Tilian’s huge bed, lying down gratefully, sinking into the soft pillows. As his eyes closed and he became completely overwhelmed with sleepiness, he thought maybe he should have checked with Tilian if he’d meant for him to lie on his bed or just the little couch below the window. But he was so comfortable…

-

Tilian was caught short as he walked back into the bedroom and saw Jon curled up right in the middle of his bed. He looked to be fast asleep, his messy curls dark against his white pillowcase, and he realised he’d actually grabbed another pillow and had wrapped himself around it. He looked so small in the middle of the bed. Tentatively, Tilian stepped over and sat himself on the edge of the bed, wondering whether to wake him up. Jon made a tiny noise as he felt the bed shift, but he didn’t wake. Tilian swung his legs up onto the bed and lay down next to his friend, feeling a strange pull of anticipation. He could barely begin to address the thoughts he’d been having recently. Of course he cared deeply for Jon, one of his best friends, someone who saw all sides of him and still accepted him without judgement. But recently his mind had been straying to thoughts about Jon that were a little out of “just friends” territory.

But...Mika. He was engaged. He was happier than he’d ever been. He loved her with all his heart and she was perfect for him. So why was he finding himself now, lying next to his friend, thinking about...oh, god, he just wanted to…

He took a deep breath and very gently looped his arm around Jon’s waist, gently pressing the length of his body against Jon’s. He was so warm, radiating through the thin cotton of his shirt. To Tilian’s delight, he felt Jon reach for his arm and draw it tighter around him in his sleep, and he let out the tiniest little whimper. Tilian was close enough to feel Jon’s hair tickling his face, breathing in his warm, clean smell. The way Jon had pulled his arm was allowing him to feel Jon’s soft middle, small and compact and comforting. He wondered how it would feel to hold Jon underneath him. He tried to banish the thought from his mind, but as he shifted he realised his uncomfortably tight his jeans had just gotten. Shit. He had just offered Jon somewhere to rest, and now here he was in danger of waking him up with his cock pressing against his back like a fucking horny teenager. 

He tried to position himself so that his hips were tilted back and away from Jon, but he felt Jon sigh and persistently tug at Tilian’s arm, bringing them into closer contact. If Jon was awake, he would definitely be able to feel Tilian now. Jon felt so perfect to hold, just the right size to be the little spoon. Tilian could pretty much rest his chin on the top of Jon’s head, and his long legs created a perfect semicircle with his lower body around Jon’s. He breathed deeper, filling his nose with Jon’s comforting, warm smell. He didn’t use an excessive amount of cologne or anything, just fresh soap with an underlying sleep-warm smell that made Tilian feel so comfortable. Gently, he squeezed his arm tighter, able to feel Jon’s soft body yield against him.

Tilian tensed as he heard Jon make a tiny, sleepy noise, and shift a little in his arms.

“Til?” he murmured, sleepy and confused.

“It’s just me,” Tilian reassured him, “it’s okay. You fell asleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

Jon passed his hand sleepily across his face, seemingly unperturbed at the fact that his friend was spooning against him. 

“I’m sorry I fell asleep in your bed,” Jon said, his voice cracked with fatigue, “I...I haven’t had a good sleep in days.”

Tilian bit his lip, considering for a moment. “It’s kinda late now. You’re more than welcome to sleep here, if you want. I can sleep on the couch, and we can keep writing tomorrow.”

Jon let out a little giggle. “You’re here, holding me in your bed, and you’re saying you’ll sleep on the couch? It’s okay, I’m small. We can share.”

He turned and flashed Tilian a disarming smile, his slightly-too-big front teeth adorably front and centre.

Tilian felt himself start to blush slightly. “Well, if you’re sure...hey, I gotta go check how far the pizza is, okay? Come down when you’re ready, I’ll grab you a beer.”

He stood up, trying to hide the obvious bulge in his jeans as he exited the room perhaps a little quicker than he usually would.

-

Jon rolled onto his back, considering slightly before he stood up and followed Tilian downstairs. He could hardly believe he’d woken up to find Tilian so close, and unless he was grossly mistaken, he’d felt something against his ass that somewhat matched what was going on in his own sweats right now. But Tilian had never really expressed any interest in...well, anything like that, and especially not with him. He preferred to make jokes, jokes that sometimes hurt Jon, making him want to slap the insensitivity out of him. He didn’t think he could handle being hurt again, but Tilian's arm around him had made him want to cry with the relief of human contact.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, stretched, and pulled his t-shirt down a little lower over the front of his sweats as he headed downstairs. Tilian, by the kitchen bench, turned to him with the warm smile and handed him a cold beer. 

“Feeling a bit more awake?” he smiled. Jon grinned back, the swirling sensation in his tummy easing a little bit. This was fine. Just normal stuff, hanging out with his best friend. He followed Tilian out to the lounge, where they flopped in front of Tilian’s massive TV. Jon fiddled with the label on his beer bottle while Tilian loaded Netflix and started to browse for something to watch. Jon watched him flick through all the categories, hiding a smile at his indecisiveness. 

“Let’s just watch food network,” Jon suggested hopefully. They both liked food network, Tilian for the drama and Jon simply to look at all the things he might enjoy eating. His tummy let out quite a big rumble now, and he flushed a little in embarrassment. Tilian checked his phone, tracking the delivery which was almost at the door.

“What did you get?” Jon asked.

“Surprise!” Tilian grinned as the doorbell buzzed. “Back in a sec, okay?”

Jon hummed with contentment, sinking back into Tilian’s big couch and drawing a blanket around his shoulders. Tilian returned laden with pizza boxes, and…

“TWO pints of ice cream?” Jon cried out with delight.

“One each,” Tilian grinned, “I know you love that cookie dough flavour.”

They settled in, spreading out the pizza boxes in between. Jon tucked in with delight, hungrier than he’d felt in days, laughing with Tilian as they pretended to fight over the last mouthfuls. Afterwards they settled back, shoulder to shoulder, eating up their ice cream with spoons straight from the tub. Jon let out a little sigh of contentment, feeling pleasantly full and sleepy. Tilian fiddled with the controls for the lights, dimming them right down and letting the glow of the TV light the room. Jon gently laid his head down on Tilian’s shoulder, feeling warm inside when he felt the other man drape his arm around his shoulders. He felt almost buzzed, but he’d only had the one beer. It was more to do with Tilian’s long fingers tracing gently around the neckline of Jon’s t-shirt, catching through the messy curls spilling down onto his neck. He turned his head to look at him, and felt his breath catch a little in his chest when he realised how close he was. 

“You okay?” Tilian asked, his eyes creasing up a little, “you look like I’ve just proposed to you, is all.”

Jon shook his head slightly, Tilian’s choice of words only serving to highlight how bizarre the whole situation was. 

“I…” Jon trailed off, swallowed, took a deep breath. “I was just wondering if you...uh…”

Tilian turned his head to the side, patiently waiting for Jon to finish, but Jon didn’t have the words. He shyly reached up and pressed his lips against Tilian’s, gentle and hesitant. Immediately, though, he felt Tilian respond to him, his hand moving to tangle up in Jon’s hair and pull him up closer, working gently against Jon’s lips, encouraging him to open his mouth for him. He did, and felt Tilian’s tongue push gently against his own, just the right pressure, making him feel lightheaded. Jon looped his arms around Tilian’s neck and let the other man draw his body closer, so he was half sitting in Tilian’s lap.

“Til,” Jon gasped as he pulled back for a breath, “I...I need to ask you something. When you were lying with me before. Were you…” He trailed off shyly, his eyes flicking down.

Tilian responded by taking Jon’s hand and guiding it to the front of his jeans, watching Jon’s eyes widen as he felt the unmistakable hardness. 

“Because of me?” 

Tilian’s heart ached at Jon’s apparent innocence and inexperience. 

“Of course because of you.” He gently pulled Jon in for another kiss. “Why don’t we go back upstairs?” 

He stood up, holding Jon up and still kissing him. Jon’s legs felt shaky, and he blushed when he saw how obvious his own hard dick was in his sweats. He saw Tilian’s eyes flick down to it and his stomach flipped with nerves, desperately hoping he would be good enough for Tilian. He let the taller man lead him by the hand, back up the stairs, kissing him as he guided him back, towards to the bed, gently tipping him backwards and sliding on top. Jon gasped at the close contact, and his hips jerked up as he felt Tilian’s hands slide up, under his shirt, circling and teasing his nipples. He was grinding against Jon’s thigh, dipping his head to give him deep kisses, sloppy with desire. He held his arms up for Tilian as he pulled his shirt off, and he had Jon’s sweats halfway down his thighs before Jon pulled his head back, his breath catching a little.

“Wait, Til, stop.” His voice came out a little shaky and he felt his cheeks turning even more pink.

“You okay?” Tilian asked, concerned, gently stroking Jon’s curls back.

“You’re going so fast...I...do you really want me like this?”

“Of course I do, Jon, can’t you tell?”

“You’re not…” Jon bit his lip, trying to formulate a sentence. “You’re not just doing this because you feel sorry for me?”

Tilian’s eyebrows drew together in concern and hurt. “Jon? I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. I’m not...I’m not using you.”

Jon felt a flutter of anxiety in his chest. He hadn’t meant to accuse Tilian, or hurt him. He reached for him, twirling his fingers in his hair, bringing him back down for another kiss.

“I’m sorry,” Jon mumbled, “I... I haven’t done this for a while. And I haven’t done it much. And I’ve never...this is my first time with a guy.”

He knew Tilian had at least experimented with other dudes, even if it wasn’t serious, and he suddenly felt incredibly out of his depth. Tilian reassured him gently, his hands once again moving to push Jon’s sweats down, leaving him in just his boxers. He felt exposed, his body small and soft compared to Tilian’s. 

“Can we get under the covers?” Jon asked shyly.

Tilian rolled off, pulling his comforter back and letting Jon slide in, admiring his soft curves and the subtle muscles of his arms and back. He pulled his own shirt off, kicked off his jeans, and slid in beside Jon, drawing him close and pulling the comforter up. Jon felt so much better like this, his body safely hidden. Tilian wrapped his leg around Jon’s hip and brought them even closer, and Jon gasped at the sudden friction against his dick. God, he had to hold back. He couldn’t cum in his boxers before Tilian even touched him. 

“Slow,” he gasped, “go slowly, Til, please…”

Tilian smiled and reached down, his hand sliding across Jon’s soft tummy and below his waistband, wrapping his long fingers around his dick and pulling it out. Jon dug his fingers into Tilian’s back, whimpering against his shoulder. Tilian let out a little hum of contentment, sliding his thumb over the head of Jon’s dick, working him up and feeling him start to leak his precum into his hand.

“You’re wet,” Tilian couldn’t help whispering into Jon’s ear.

Jon felt a funny little tug in his lower stomach at Tilian’s choice of words, but he liked it, and kept pushing forward into his touch. Somehow, Tilian managed to use his other hand to work his own underwear down and off, and Jon could feel Tilian’s thick, hard dick pressed against his thigh. He felt Tilian reach around and cup Jon’s ass, giving him a little squeeze. 

“Has anyone ever touched you like this before?” Tilian asked, his fingers circling Jon’s entrance, gently but persistently getting closer.

Jon shook his head, shy and unsure.

“Will you let me?” 

“Y-yes,” Jon gasped, his voice cracking as Tilian increased his pressure on his dick. He swiped his fingers through Jon’s precum, and used his index finger to press gently against Jon’s hole. The smaller man was so tense, but he didn’t tell Tilian to stop. He pushed until he was inside, feeling how incredibly tight Jon was. Jon let out a drawn out cry against Tilian’s shoulder as he started gently sliding in and out, using his other hand to keep jerking him off. Shyly, Jon reached down and took Tilian’s dick in his own hand, struggling to keep the rhythm but trying his best. He could barely control himself, he felt his hips jerking as Tilian pushed his finger more deeply inside…

“F..fuck, Til,” he gasped, strangled, “I’m gonna-”

Tilian pulled out gently and held Jon as tight as he could as he came, messily against Tilian’s stomach, gasping and arching his back. Tilian was so turned on by the sight, he couldn’t resist Jon. He turned him onto his front, sliding on top of him and pressing his dick between Jon’s ass cheeks. He so badly wanted to fuck him but he was so close, he knew Jon wasn’t ready...he wrapped his arm around Jon’s weak body and thrust hard against him, coming quickly up Jon’s back with a deep, animalistic groan of pleasure. He collapsed down on top of the smaller man, their sweaty bodies tangled, heaving with their deep breaths.

“I made such a mess on your sheets,” Jon managed to gasp, turning and giving a little smile. His hair was a mess, his cheeks flushed, his eyes glazed over with pleasure and sensation. Tilian thought he’d never seen anything so cute.

“I really, really do not give a fuck,” Tilian said, planting little kisses all along Jon’s shoulders, rolling off and tucking Jon tight against his chest.

“Will you hold me like this while we sleep?” Jon asked, already feeling himself drifting off, safe and small in Tilian’s strong arms.

“Anything you need,” Tilian murmured back, “anything at all.”


	2. Chapter 2

Tilian woke while it was still dark outside. He could feel Jon’s warm, small body wrapped tightly around him, exactly as he’d fallen asleep, and he felt such warmth spreading through his chest at the sight. He knew Jon had been having a lot of trouble sleeping and he was glad he was able to help him. Gently, he reached up to run his fingers through Jon’s soft hair, smiling at the tiny, sleepy noise he made as he did so. He massaged Jon’s head lightly until the smaller man stirred, blearily opening his eyes, confusion quickly turning to warmth as he saw Tilian looking down at him.

“Hey,” he whispered, “sorry to wake you up.”

Jon stretched a little, running his hand through his messy bed hair. 

“It’s okay,” he replied, his voice soft and very sleepy, “I...I hope I didn’t bother you.”

“You were so sweet,” Tilian said, his cheeks colouring a little, “you curled right up around me. It felt so nice.”

Their eyes locked and the slight tension held between them broke, both laughing softly as Tilian reached up to cup Jon’s face in his hands, thumbs gently grazing his cheekbones.

“You still want to be here with me, then?” 

“Of course,” Jon said with quiet conviction, “I...I couldn’t believe it when I woke up and you were still here holding me.” 

“I’ve been imagining this for a while,” Tilian said, worried he was sounding corny but desperate to make Jon understand how much he meant to him. 

Jon’s eyes widened. He scooted even closer to Tilian, letting the bigger man envelop him in a tight hug. “I find it hard to believe anyone would think about me like that, let alone you.”

“What do you mean?” 

“You know,” Jon mumbled a little, looking down, and Tilian found it hard to understand what he was saying. “I’ve never...no one really knows I think about guys, too. I haven’t ever told anyone. So hearing you say that you’ve thought about me and that you want me, I was just...so surprised.” 

“I kinda wondered,” Tilian said, trying to choose his words carefully. “I know you don’t like to talk about it much, so I wasn’t going to ask. But it always kind of seemed like you weren’t satisfied, when I saw you with anyone.”

Jon looked up with a sad little smile. “Might explain why I could never make anyone stick around with me.” 

“They didn’t know what they were missing,” Tilian countered. He tipped his head forward to gently graze Jon’s lips, tasting his sleepy warmth, feeling the gentle scrape of his stubble.

Jon closed his eyes and allowed Tilian to kiss him, surrendering himself to the gentle press of his lips, his tongue, yielding easily when Tilian tipped him onto his back and slid on top. Tilian planted his arms either side of him, drinking in the sight of him, his skin so pale as to almost be translucent with the very first traces of morning light filtering in through the curtains. 

“I just want to be able to be myself,” Jon said, quietly, in a break between kisses. “I’ve always felt like I’m not enough. Like I can’t relax. But it’s different with you.”

“I want to make you feel safe,” Tilian replied, “you don’t have to be anything different for me.”

Jon nodded, biting his lip and looking up shyly. “I’ve never gone so far on my first time with someone as I did with you.”

“Really?” Tilian sounded so shocked that Jon started to laugh despite himself.

“Really. I...I trust you.” 

Tilian pushed his arms underneath Jon, encircling him completely as he squeezed him tight, kissing him, sweeping deeper into his mouth with his tongue and eliciting tiny, soft moans from him. He started to gently move his hips, allowing Jon to feel his dick rapidly growing harder against his thigh.

“How much do you want?” Tilian asked, his breathing faster, his voice a little more ragged.

Jon blushed, a little flustered. “You tell me what you want,” he said, “I’ll do what you like...just take it slowly.” 

The little tremble in Jon’s voice was almost imperceptible, but Tilian heard it all the same. He gently pushed Jon’s hair back off his forehead, kissing his temples. 

“It’s your turn,” Tilian said, “I want you to tell me all the things you like. I’m going to take such good care of you.”

Jon faltered, stuttering a little as he tried to answer. No one had ever been so gentle with him and Tilian’s kindness, so fast and so sudden, was overwhelming for him. 

“This is so embarrassing,” he murmured, his face half-buried in Tilian’s shoulder, “I’ve never really been...asked what I like before. Not like this. And I don’t know what I like yet, with you...I just…” he trailed off shaking his head a little.

“It’s okay,” Tilian whispered back, “take your time. Can I kiss you some more?”

Jon nodded, and Tilian cupped his face as gently as if he were made of glass. He kissed Jon as though he had all the time in the world, pulling back from time to time to smile at him, make sure he was okay. He could feel Jon’s body softening in his arms, relaxing into the sensations, and when he heard a tiny moan escape against his lips he felt incredibly satisfied. He held himself up for a breather, grinning down at Jon. 

“You are so good at this,” Jon gasped, helplessly, “I could do this all day…”

Tilian leaned down, pressing gentle kisses along his collarbones, pausing between kisses to speak.

“We’ve got an album to write, if you haven’t forgotten,” he grinned, starting to slide further down Jon’s body, “but I have an idea.”

Jon tensed as he felt Tilian kissing his chest, further down to his stomach and hips. He was incredibly shy about his body, feeling inadequate next to Tilian’s broad, toned physique, but he tried to relax and enjoy the gentle touch. He gasped as Tilian gently grazed his fingers through the hair on his stomach, tantalisingly close to his dick. 

Tilian looked up, delighted to see Jon practically squirming on the bed in pleasure when he hadn’t even touched him yet.

“Do you want me to?” he asked, smiling at Jon’s frantic nod. He wrapped his hand around Jon’s dick, noting how perfectly it sat in his hand, just the right size. He sneaked a glance up, drinking in Jon’s sprawled body in the pale morning light. He was dishevelled, his tummy still a little dirty from their activities last night, but Tilian had rarely been so turned on by just the sight of someone. 

Jon let out another drawn out moan, and lifted his hips up off the bed. Tilian grazed the tip of his dick with his mouth, teasing him, lazily running his hand up and down Jon’s shaft. Excruciatingly slowly, he moved his head down, until Jon’s dick was deep in his mouth, Tilian’s lips just about scraping against Jon’s public hair. The smaller man was trembling in his effort to hold back. Tilian moved back a little, encouraging Jon to thrust up into his mouth, sliding his hands underneath him to squeeze his ass. As Jon’s movements got more frantic, Tilian focused more on the sensitive tip, dipping his tongue into his slit and flicking around the head, tasting his precum, wanting to feel Jon let go. He couldn’t help reaching down to give himself a few hard strokes, so turned on by the reaction he was inspiring in Jon.

“Ah...I’m gonna…” Jon gasped, trying to let Tilian know he was about to lose control, but he wasn’t fast enough. Tilian took Jon deep as he came, his throat contracting around Jon’s dick as he swallowed, making him cry out in the exquisite agony of the sensation. Slowly, Tilian lifted his head, smiling at the exhausted man beneath him, his chest flushed and damp with sweat.

“You good?” Tilian asked, straddling Jon’s stomach.

“So good,” Jon managed to reply, “I’m sorry...I hope you don’t mind me doing it in your mouth. You’re so good, I just didn’t have time-”

Tilian softly pressed a finger to Jon’s lips. “Don’t apologise. I wanted to taste you so bad.”

Jon smiled, his eyes drifting down Tilian’s body to see how still obviously turned on he was. He grabbed Tilian’s shoulders, holding on and using the bigger man as leverage to sit up and face him. Tentatively, he went in for a kiss, knowing he was tasting himself in Tilian’s mouth, and far from being disgusted, he was finding himself surprisingly turned on by the idea. He looped one arm around Tilian’s waist to hold himself upright, and wrapped his other hand around Tilian’s cock, stroking it so that it brushed against his own stomach. Tilian hummed in contentment, burying his face in Jon’s messy hair as he thrust up into his grip. 

“Harder,” he mumbled, “don’t be shy.”

Jon obliged, looking down in something like amazement as he worked on Tilian’s dick. 

“You sure you’ve never done this before?” Tilian gasped, his hips jerking against Jon.

Jon let out a nervous little laugh. “Never...I...I hope you feel good…” 

Tilian grabbed Jon by the hips, wanting more friction against the head of his dick while Jon stroked up and down his length. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer, and he tipped Jon backwards again, pulling his hands away from his dick and holding them while he thrust up against Jon’s stomach. Jon cried out in pleasure and surprise as Tilian rubbed himself against him. His friend was using his body to get off, taking more pleasure in him than anyone ever had, and he felt elated.

“Cum on me, Til,” he whispered, a little self consciously, as Tilian sped up.

Jon’s words alone were enough to tip him over, and he released with a few short grunts, coming in thick ropes over Jon’s stomach.  
“Fuck,” Tilian burst out, breathless, “you are so sexy…”

Jon squeezed him tight, grinning idiotically against his neck. 

“We uh...we made a mess,” Jon pointed out. His stomach and back were coated in Tilian’s cum and both their sweat. “I...I’d really like to take a shower with you.”

“Mmm,” Tilian groaned in pleasure, “definitely. In a minute. When I can walk.”

They lay tangled in each other for a few blissful minutes before lazily rolling out of bed, kissing as they walked to Tilian’s bathroom, barely able to keep their hands off each other. Under the warm spray, they gently washed each other, kissing, squeezing, gentle and slow. Jon’s head felt like it was spinning with the rush of it all. Barely 18 hours had passed since he’d curled up on Tilian’s bed, and now here he was, having received more attention from him than he had from anyone in months. 

“Til...I want to show you something, when we get out.”

Jon sounded so serious and nervous that Tilian pulled back, scanning his face worriedly. 

“What is it?” 

“Just...some lyrics I’ve been working on. I wasn’t going to show anyone. But now that...well...now you know. I want to see what you think.”

Jon looked so earnest, even with water dripping from the end of his nose and soap bubbles on his chest.

“Of course...knowing you, I bet they’re genius.”

Jon gave a small smile. “I guess that’s one thing about writing so many strange lyrics. When they’re true, no one will really pick up.”

Tilian reached back and turned off the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around Jon’s shoulders. 

“You got me so curious. Come on, let’s get some breakfast and then you can show me. You want me to make some pancakes?”

Jon’s stomach grumbled, and he realised how hungry he really was. He broke into a big, genuine smile, the little domestic gesture warming his heart. 

“Sounds incredible.”  
They made their way downstairs with their fingers intertwined, each knowing that nothing would be the same again, yet feeling a euphoria that was unsurpassed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly much plot progression, I know, I know. Consider this a bridging chapter, if you like.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon finally gets out what he's been sitting on. Tilian needs to face everything head on, but he's too caught up to find the right time...

Jon sat up at the breakfast bar in Tilian’s clean kitchen, enjoying the patch of sunlight filtering through the window and warming his bare arms. He was watching Tilian move easily around the kitchen, gathering the ingredients for their breakfast, and he felt his stomach growl as he whisked together a quick pancake batter. While the golden pancakes fried on the hotplate, Tilian crisped up some bacon in a frying pan, chopped a few bananas and tossed them with some fresh strawberries, and finally decanted some maple syrup into a small china jug. He deftly set these in the centre of the bench, along with a French press full of strong coffee. Finally, he stacked up a big white serving plate with the golden pancakes, setting them in front of his friend with a flourish.

“Thank you so much,” Jon grinned, positively glowing as he looked up at Tilian, “I really appreciate this, you know.”

“What, breakfast?” Tilian said, the hint of a smile quickly fading from his lips as he realised Jon was quite serious. “Hey, you gotta look after yourself, Jon.”

“I know,” Jon sighed, “I don’t want to let everyone down by getting sick again. But it’s hard when it’s just me. I feel like I don’t deserve it. It’s so much nicer with company…”

Jon trailed off, turning his face away, his words sounding pitiful when spoken aloud. He looked around Tilian’s clean, modern apartment, with his gleaming appliances and fresh ingredients, half of which Jon barely recognised the names of. By comparison, his life seemed as shabby and faded around the edges as his own apartment. He spent more money on Timmy than on himself most weeks, subsisting on meals he could eat straight from the tin or pop into the microwave. 

Tilian watched Jon biting his lip, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Jon’s mood flickered across his face like the shifting shapes of the leaves outside, such hopeful energy shining through only to fade back into his shy, withdrawn state. He thought the best he could do was be there for him; he knew him well enough to know that trying to pry things out of Jon was like trying to open up a sealed vault. Jon’s walls were as thick as his own were eggshell thin. He took a plate and piled it high with pancakes and toppings, setting it before Jon and kissing him gently on the forehead.

“Take your time,” he said softly, “enjoy it. I like making things for you, okay?”

Jon nodded, smiling shyly as he took a mouthful and then breaking into a proper grin.

“This is so good, Til,” he exclaimed, “fuck…”

Tilian grinned watching Jon eat with the voracity of someone who had just run a marathon. He looked like he was about to lick his plate, and Tilian was glad he’d made such a big batch. When they’d both finished eating, they lingered in comfortable silence over their coffee, checking emails and social media, occasionally nudging each other to show a funny meme or their friends’ latest escapades. 

Finally, Jon stood up and stretched, letting out a little yelp as Tilian trailed his fingers over his exposed stomach. He tugged his shirt down and Tilian fake-pouted, before scooping Jon back down to him for a soft kiss. He gently swept his tongue into Jon’s mouth, tasting sweet syrup and coffee, and he felt Jon squeeze him fiercely as he returned the kiss. He felt a tug of nerves in his stomach as a small corner of his mind faced the fact that soon he would have to be honest with himself and what he was doing, but he pushed it away. He wanted to enjoy these moments with Jon, while time was stretching abstractly and all his barriers were broken down, for as long as he could. He felt Jon practically climbing into his lap and couldn’t resist squeezing his soft hips, pulling him down, pressing him-

“Mmmm,” Jon moaned into his mouth, “Til, I...I know we need to work but-”

Helplessly, he straddled Tilian’s lap, allowing the bigger man to pull him down, feeling as overwhelmed and aroused as he had in longer than he could remember. Before this, he had been struggling to even get hard, feel any sense of much beyond loneliness and yearning, even the thought of Tilian hurting him more than anything, his mind telling him the other man would never want him. Now here he was, sitting in Tilian’s lap with his tongue in his mouth and his hands wandering lower, lower…

With a supreme effort, Jon pulled back, breathing hard, his cheeks flushed, his semi so obvious in the front of his sweats. 

“We work for like, an hour,” he said raggedly, “and then we finish this.”

Tilian groaned but nodded, pulling Jon in for one more kiss before reluctantly standing up.

The two men made their way back to Tilian’s bedroom/office setup, fortified by strong coffee and a hefty meal. Jon opened his laptop, feeling his heart rate increase a little as he opened his shambolic Word document of lyric ideas - freeform, disorganised, touched by no one but him. Probably about three quarters of this stuff would never see the light of day - a lot of it was so embarrassing to him now anyway, but he couldn’t bear to delete the old ideas and risk losing some of the very specific memories he held. As he scrolled down looking for his newest lyrics, he heard Tilian humming softly next to him, fidgeting a little in his seat, and a soft smile played around his lips.

“Here we go,” Jon said, his voice cracking a little with nerves. “I thought - I thought maybe this could fit with those guitar parts Martin sent to us.”

Tilian leaned close to Jon, his warmth radiating as he focused on the computer screen. Jon could barely watch Tilian take it in, but he cast sideways glances to check his progress, still curious. He watched Tilian’s lips move silently as he took in Jon’s writing.

_You’re just in denial and with the wrong one  
Love don’t make you crippled or enslaved_

Tilian bit his lip as he slowly put two and two together and it became clear that this wasn’t just Jon writing his usual style; the words that fit best over the music that they had. 

_Another night, another night, and no one even knows_

_Did you notice I’m normal?_

“Did you notice I’m normal…” Tilian started to play with the line, barely audible, his songwriting brain taking over as he hummed a melody.

Slowly, Jon’s hand crept along the desk, reaching for Tilian’s and squeezing, needing some reassurance that the other man wasn’t freaked out.

“I’m hoping it’s obvious enough not to be obvious,” Jon whispered.

Tilian nodded. “You don’t need to try and explain it, Jon, I get it. I understand.”

_How do I say hi to another guy when I wanna die?_

Tilian drew Jon against him, burying his face against the other man’s shoulder. The song was more expressive than Jon could have adequately conveyed in a conversation, and Tilian already knew that although whatever song this turned into might just be their most heartfelt, he owed it to Jon to let him keep the song’s true meaning a secret. He already felt protective over, and worried for Jon as he predicted the analysis that would certainly follow - Jon’s character picked apart even further when he knew all he really wanted to do was lead a quiet life outside the spotlight, to let his art speak for him rather than clumsily try to explain or justify it, or feel like he had to; feel like he owed something. 

Jon let out a deep, shaky sigh, pulled back, and managed a tentative smile at Tilian.

“So you don’t think it’s awful?”

Tilian shook his head slowly, amazed that Jon could even ask such a thing.

Jon turned to properly lock eyes with Tilian. “This is the...this means more to me than anything I’ve ever written. I don’t know how else to say it. I...if it hadn’t happened the way it did last night, this was how I was...gonna tell you.” He ran his hand awkwardly through his messy hair, hoping he was explaining himself properly.

“You know this isn’t going to be easy, Jon. I...I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Jon nodded. “I know. But it’s been so, so long. I can’t hide myself forever, and I’d rather do this on my terms. I’m not going to say one way or another what it’s about, or anything. But I’ll know, and you’ll know, and that’s enough for me.”

Tilian was in awe - and he had to admit, slightly envious - of Jon’s ability to be so self-assured about such things. While he himself constantly felt the need to justify himself, explain himself, often to the point of regret or embarrassment, Jon was perfectly happy letting other people make their own conclusions. It was a talent that very few people had, and just one of the many things that made Jon so special. He rubbed Jon’s long, delicate fingers between his own, and felt the smaller man lay his head down onto his shoulder. He gently played with his curls as he scrolled down a little, pointing out more lyrics that he liked and offering suggestions, bouncing things back and forth.

Jon felt his heart rate return to normal as the other man led today’s writing session, the shakiness in his hands subsided as they listened to a few of the instrumentals they’d been sent, and discussed how their ideas would fit together, and where. It was immersive work, and both men were somehow able to completely lose themselves in it, despite Jon’s revelations and - hell, the whole last 24 hours - practically shifting their worlds on their axes. 

When they finally hit a spot for a breather, Tilian reached up and placed his hand on Jon’s face, turning the other man to look at him, and they both felt the air turn electric between them. Jon, boldly, leaned in to initiate the kiss this time, and let out a low moan of desire as Tilian returned the kiss with double the passion. Jon felt himself unfurl helplessly under the other man’s touch. He couldn’t place what it was that made it so different, so right, in a way that he’d never felt before. Tilian was even more gentle and tender than before in the way he lavished affection on Jon, cupping his face, tipping his face up and really tasting him deeply while he ran his thumbs over his high cheekbones in a way that made Jon feel as if his bones had liquefied. 

“You wanna have a lie down?” Tilian mumbled into Jon’s mouth, and smiled as he felt the smaller man nod frantically. They stood up clumsily, barely able to keep their hands off each other. Tilian made short work of Jon’s shirt and sweats, casting them hastily to the ground as he yanked his own shirt off over his head. He pushed Jon down, admiring his pale body in the dappled sunlight for a split second before covering his body fully with his own. Jon whimpered and gasped beneath him, holding his hips, needing him ever-closer, kissing him as deeply as he could. He was frantic, almost desperate in his affection, and Tilian knew he had to slow down quickly or it was all going to be over much too fast. He held himself up while he pulled Jon’s boxers off, giving his hard dick a few quick strokes before pulling his own out too. He made out with Jon slowly, deeply, deliberately grinding their bodies together to give them both the most friction possible. 

“What do you want, Jon?” Tilian breathed into his ear, holding his hips in place as he felt his body spasm with desire. 

“I w- oh, Til, touch me like...like last night,” Jon gasped, ragged, “I want...inside.”

Tilian felt a jolt of arousal in his lower stomach at this, hoping this meant Jon wanted him to go even further, hopefully soon. He gently turned Jon onto his stomach and sat up behind him, admiring the curve of his ass, spreading him apart gently. He offered Jon his fingers and was gratified to feel the smaller man lick and suck them enthusiastically, giving him sufficient lubrication to slip slowly inside. He started with just his index finger, slowly, mindful of Jon's inexperience. Jon took a few deep breaths, relaxing, turning to look at Tilian with his cheeks flushed pink. 

“More?” Tilian asked, his voice low, and Jon whimpered his assent.

Tilian gently worked his middle finger in too, feeling Jon almost unbearably tight. His mind was in overdrive as he rubbed his cock against Jon’s ass cheek, imagining exactly how it would look spreading Jon open and disappearing inside…

“Fuck, Jon,” Tilian half-growled, pushing his fingers faster into him, fucking him with his fingers and feeling gratified as Jon practically backed himself up onto him. He reached around for Jon’s cock, stroking it, wanting to see him completely lose control. The smaller man was a mess, gasping Tilian’s name, uninhibited as he’d ever been in his life. He was so noisy, turning Tilian on even more with his cries of pleasure. He went even harder at Jon’s hole, his cock starting to leak and twitch in his hand.

“Tilian, Til, oh fuck..” Jon half-yelled, burying his face and dropping his hips, thrusting up against the sheets, his vision going black for a few seconds as he came more forcefully than he ever had. Just the sight invoked something primal in Tilian, who scrambled up Jon’s body, turning his head as gently as he could and maneuvering Jon’s face so he could take the tip of his cock into his mouth. He didn’t want to push it down Jon’s throat but it only really took the warm heat of his mouth enveloping the tip, and Tilian was pulling out, gasping as he spilt his cum over Jon’s chin and down onto his chest.

“Til,” Jon gasped, reaching for the other man and drawing him close, his heart hammering against his ribcage.

“You okay?” Tilian asked, worried he’d been too rough or pushed Jon too far.

Jon nodded, his eyes sparkling. “That felt so...it was incredible. I...I can’t believe I can make you do that,” he added, his already flushed cheeks turning redder.

“You are so fucking cute,” Tilian admonished him, squeezing him close, “god, Jon, I could do this all day. If my body was willing I could do it again right now.”

Jon nodded vigorously in agreement. They curled around each other, the golden sunlight bathing their bodies. A casual observer would have thought them to be lovers for years, the way they fit around each other so comfortably.

“Just a 10 minute nap,” Jon mumbled, his voice muffled, “then back to it.”

Tilian only responded with a tiny, sleepy hum of contentment. Everything else could wait. His world felt more perfect with Jon in it than it ever had, and he needed to hold on to that feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very, very stubborn coming out of my brain and onto the page, and I hope that it doesn't come across too clunky. There's also a lot more gratuitous sex than I'd perhaps envisioned, but you know...these things happen.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired initially by the photo Tilian posted in his Instagram story way back last year. Now that Afterburner is out I may be pushed to continue this one, so I'm posting it to try and keep me motivated to do so.


End file.
